Are You a Filler or a Dipper?

Are You a Filler or a Dipper?

You have heard of the cup that overflowed. This is a story of a really large cup, only larger, it is an invisible cup. Everyone has one. It determines how we feel about ourselves, about others, and how we get along with people. Have you ever experienced a series of very favourable things which made you want to be good to people for a week? At that time, your cup was full.

A cup can be filled by a lot of things that happen. When a person speaks to you, recognizing you as a human being, your cup is filled a little. Even more if he calls you by name, especially if it is the name you like to be called. If he compliments you on your dress or on a job well done, the level in your bucket goes up still higher. There must be a million ways to raise the level in another’s cup.

Writing a friendly letter, remembering something that is special to him, knowing the names of his children, expressing sympathy for his loss, giving him a hand when his work is heavy, taking time for conversation, or, perhaps more important, listening to him.

When one’s cup is full of this emotional support, one can express warmth and friendliness to people. But, remember, this is a theory about a cup and a dipper. Other people have dippers and they can get their dippers in your cup. This, too, can be done in a million ways.

Let’s just say I am at a dinner and inadvertently upset a glass of thick, sticky chocolate milk that spills over the table cloth, on a lady’s skirt, down onto the carpet. I am embarrassed. “Bright Eyes” across the table says, “You upset that glass of chocolate milk.” I made a mistake, I know I did, and then he told me about it! He just got his dipper in my cup!

Think of the times a person makes a mistake, feels terrible about it, only to have someone tell him about the known mistake (“Red pen” mentality!  - Tendency to only correct and point out mistakes in others!)

Cups are filled and cups are emptied ? Emptied many times because people don’t really think about what are doing. When a person’s cup is emptied, he is very different than when it is full. You say to a person whose cup is empty, “That is a really nice tie you have,” and he may reply in a very irritated, defensive manner.

Although there is a limit to such an analogy, there are people who seem to have holes in their cups. When a person has a hole in his cup, he irritates lots of people by trying to get his dipper in their cups. This is when he really needs somebody to pour it in his cup because he keeps losing.

The story of our lives is the interplay of the cup the dipper. Everyone has both. The unyielding secret of the cup and the dipper is that when you fill another’s cup it does not take anything out of your own cup. The level in our own cup gets higher when we fill another’s, and, on the other hand, when we dip into another’s cup we do not fill our own … we lose a little.

The mark of  true humanity is giving more than you get. By giving, we really receive! ” – Leslie Choudhury

For a variety of reasons, people hesitate filling the cup of another and consequently do not experience the fun, joy, happiness, fulfilment, and satisfaction connected with making another person happy. Some reasons for this hesitancy are that people think it sounds “fake” or the other person will be suspicious of the motive, or it is “brown-nosing.”

Therefore, let us put aside our dipper and resolve to touch someone’s life in order to fill their cup.

Have an Awesome week ahead!
Leslie Choudhury – Int’l Speaker, Trainer, Consultant and Author 
Serious fun for serious business 

CEO – Dreamz Image International
Director – Directive Communication International
Associate Director – ADMC Pte Ltd
CEO – LC International ( BVI)
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